"I've made a huge mistake."

New template. Less boring, methinks.

So, last night I had a pretty disturbing dream. I dreamt that it was my wedding day. Scary, I know. But, the thing about it is that I had never actually dated the girl. She was the sister of my friend, Parker Leavitt (but not in real life). I had been at his house for dinner or something, and at some point she said something (at the far end of the table) and I thought it was funny. So, I said "we should get married!" And after a second she said, "Okay." So, that's the back-story (apparently my dreams have flashbacks).

Flash forward to the "present" where I'm at the temple, in the dressing room, and I'm FREAKING out because I'm just realizing for the first time that I can't marry this girl because I have no idea who she even is. We've never even gone on one date! I've never kissed her! I mean, sure, we've spoken a couple of times, but nothing substantial. I'm not even sure if she's going to show up, and I can't decide what would be worse: if she shows up or doesn't. Eventually I realize that I have to go tell everyone that I can't go through with it, which is really scary because I don't want to disappoint everyone. We had already spent a lot of money on the reception and announcements and stuff. So, I felt terrible.

Needless to say, I woke up at about 5:20 this morning, and I was EXHAUSTED. It's not the kind of dream you wake up from and think "oh man! I wish I could finish that dream to see what happens!" Uh, no. I feel very fortunate I woke up before I had to go tell everyone that I wasn't going to go through with the wedding.

So. Yeah. That's my nightmare from last night. The funniest thing is that I've had this dream before - with slight variations, but the same basic premise: somehow I am engaged, it's the day of the wedding, and I can't figure out how I got there. In most of them, I'm really worried that the "bride" won't show up, because she doesn't know me, and it wasn't really well established that we actually were going to get married. In fact, there's usually something similar to the dream I had last night, where someone says, half-jokingly, that we should get married, and then everyone just kind of goes forward under the assumption that it's a done deal. Except for the fact that, apparently, we never date or call each other or talk or anything before the big day. So, I always end up feeling like I have wasted everyone's time on a fantasy relationship that, at any moment, is going to come crashing down around my ears.

And now you know a little more about my subconscious than you probably ever wanted. Hooray!